The Art of Listening to Understand Better
Active listening isn’t just a skill; it’s a true relational dance where every gesture counts. In a world that moves too fast, where exchanges are often superficial, knowing how to listen becomes a superpower. But how can we apply this concretely in our daily interactions? Here are examples of active listening, along with practical techniques and tips that will make you a master of compassionate communication.
1- Why is Active Listening So Powerful? 🔥
Before we dive into practical examples, let’s revisit the foundations of active listening. The technique, theorized by Carl Rogers, aims to create a safe and validating space for the speaker. It is built on: ✅ Total attention to the other person ✅ Paraphrasing to validate understanding ✅ Expressing emotions to show engagement ✅ Absence of judgment to let the other person speak freely
By incorporating these elements into our conversations, we foster richer, more sincere exchanges and strengthen both personal and professional relationships.
2- Active Listening in a Relationship: Defusing a Conflict 🎯
Situation: Your partner comes home from work, visibly upset. They say: 👉 “I’m so fed up, my boss doesn’t respect me at all!”
Typical Response ❌ “Just tell them what you think!” (Quick solution, but little listening) “You’re probably overreacting…” (Minimizing emotions)
Active Listening Response ✅
- Paraphrase with empathy: 👉 “I hear that you’re feeling frustrated and disrespected by your boss. Is that right?”
- Ask open-ended questions: 👉 “What did he say or do today that made you feel like this?”
- Validate their emotions: 👉 “It makes sense you feel this way, you put so much energy into your work…”
⏩ Result? Your partner feels heard, understood, and not judged. This calms the conflict and opens the door to a more constructive conversation.
3- Active Listening at Work: Improving Collaboration 💼
Situation: A colleague comes to you, stressed, before an important meeting. 👉 “I’m never going to manage to present this file in front of everyone…”
Typical Response ❌ “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine!” (Quick reassurance, but doesn’t address the emotion) “Don’t stress, it’s just a meeting.” (Dismissing the feelings)
Active Listening Response ✅
- Show attentive listening: Maintain eye contact, nod to show you’re following.
- Paraphrase to show you’ve understood: 👉 “You’re worried about not being up to the task in front of everyone, right?”
- Encourage without minimizing: 👉 “It’s normal to feel nervous, especially when you want to do well. What’s bothering you the most?”
⏩ Result? Your colleague feels understood, less alone in their stress, and more confident moving forward.
4- Active Listening with Children: Strengthening Trust 👨👩👧
Situation: Your child comes home from school crying. 👉 “The other kids don’t want to play with me…”
Typical Response ❌ “It’s not a big deal, you’ll make other friends.” (Minimizing their emotions) “Tell them they’re being mean!” (Defensive reaction)
Active Listening Response ✅
- Let the child express themselves: 👉 “Oh, that must have been really sad for you. Tell me what happened.”
- Paraphrase to show understanding: 👉 “You feel rejected, and that makes you sad, right?”
- Ask questions to encourage expression: 👉 “What could you do next time to make the situation different?”
⏩ Result? The child feels heard and learns how to manage their emotions rather than suppress them.
Conclusion 🌟
Active listening is a true relational art. Whether in a relationship, at work, with children, or during disagreements, it helps avoid misunderstandings, calm tensions, and strengthen bonds. So next time someone opens up to you, resist the urge to offer immediate advice and try active listening instead. By putting into practice these examples of active listening, you’ll notice the difference !
Sources :
- American Psychological Association (APA) – The Science of Active Listening (Lien)
- Harvard Business Review – The Power of Listening in Leadership (Lien)
- Psychology Today – How Active Listening Improves Relationships (Lien)
- Forbes – Why Active Listening is the Key to Effective Communication (Lien)
- MIT Sloan Management Review – Building Stronger Teams Through Active Listening (Lien)
