Disagreements are part of life, including in friendships. Whether it’s a misunderstanding, a deep disagreement, or a simple argument, a dispute can leave emotional marks. But how can we manage these intense emotions after a friendly disagreement and to preserve the friendship and our own well-being? Here are a few keys to calm the inner storm and regain a welcome sense of serenity.
1. Acknowledge and Understand Your Emotions
After a disagreement, a wave of emotions can overwhelm you: anger, sadness, frustration, guilt… Rather than suppressing them, take a moment to acknowledge them.
- Name your emotions: Saying out loud or writing what you feel helps bring awareness to them and better understand them.
- Accept without judgment: It’s normal to feel upset. There’s no need to guilt yourself for feeling anger or disappointment.
- Give yourself time: Intense emotions don’t disappear instantly. Sometimes it’s necessary to let the pressure subside before seeing things clearly.
2. Step Back
In the heat of the moment, words can get ahead of thought. Afterward, it’s helpful to step back to analyze the situation with more clarity.
- Ask yourself the right questions: What truly triggered the dispute? Was there an accumulation of tensions?
- Differentiate feelings from facts: Did I react emotionally, or was there an objective reason to be upset?
- Imagine the other person’s perspective: What might they have felt? Trying to understand the other person helps defuse the conflict.
3. Soothe Your Mind and Body
The stress caused by the emotions after a friendly disagreement, can have physical effects: muscle tension, a tight stomach, accelerated heartbeat… Taking care of yourself helps release this pressure.
- Breathe deeply: Heart coherence or meditation can help you regain a state of calm.
- Engage in relaxing activities: Listen to music, paint, walk in nature… Find what calms you.
- Move your body: Exercise releases tension and stimulates endorphins, the “feel-good” hormones.
4. Express Your Feelings Constructively
Once calm has returned, it’s essential to express how you feel in a composed manner, especially if the friendship matters.
- Choose the right time: There’s no point in discussing it while anger still lingers. Wait until you can speak calmly.
- Use “I” statements rather than “you”: Saying “I felt hurt when…” is more constructive than “You always do this!”
- Listen actively: Allow your friend to express their point of view without interrupting them.
5. Decide What Happens Next
A disagreement doesn’t necessarily mean the end of a friendship. However, it’s important to assess whether the relationship can be repaired or not.
- If the friendship is valuable: Being able to forgive and move on is essential. This doesn’t mean forgetting, but accepting that making mistakes is part of being human.
- If the dispute reveals a deeper issue: Some toxic or one-sided friendships can be a source of suffering. It may be necessary to distance yourself.
- Give it time: Sometimes, it’s best to wait a few days or weeks before reconnecting.
6. Turn the Disagreement into an Opportunity
Every disagreement can be an opportunity to learn about yourself and others. It helps identify expectations, boundaries, and strengthen communication.
- Analyze what could be improved: Does this disagreement reveal a need to set boundaries? To express yourself more clearly?
- Value authenticity: Well-managed conflicts often strengthen relationships because they allow you to understand each other better.
- Grow emotionally: Learning to manage your emotions with maturity is a strength for all future relationships.
Conclusion
Emotions after Friendly disagreements are never pleasant, but they can serve as stepping stones to a healthier and more sincere relationship. By taking the time to acknowledge your emotions, understand them, and communicate kindly, it’s possible to transform a passing tension into an opportunity for growth and strengthening the friendship bond.
